I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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