I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize