i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
