Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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