That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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