Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
