just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
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