I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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