i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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