he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
