windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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