She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
You're breaking my sexual little heart
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
