you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
