it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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