She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
