My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
