did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Randomize
