You really coming over, don't trick.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
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