Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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