K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
