i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
