guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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