Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
