At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
