i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
