She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
