Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
