No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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