My first STD was from a foam party
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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