the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
