love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Randomize
