the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
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is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
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