my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize