In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize
