he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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