Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
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