yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
