Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
