i think my tv is drunk
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Randomize
