We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
