I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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