you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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