Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
