You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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