i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
