batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
