Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
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