Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
