Just cropdusted the office
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
