My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
