I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
