If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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