He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize