thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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