And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Randomize
