Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
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