This girl is more easily done than said...
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
