At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
